Renovation is a terrible test for a marriage.Even if a designer is helping you. How can you get through all the trials and not get divorced as a result? Useful tips and opinions from professionals are in our article He likes , and she likes . He dreams of a home theater, and she dreams of a gym. He wants to hang a deer head on the wall, and she wants to tear down this wall. And neither one gives in to the other, and both are waiting for the designer to say. So what will he say, and how can the spouses try to resolve the problem between themselves? Initially, divide the territory Think about who spends more time in which part of the house. For example, if a woman often gets “stuck” in the bathroom and , then you should first of all think about its convenience. If a woman already has her own toilet area in the bedroom, but a man takes a shower every morning and evening, then it would be fair to listen to him. Who in the family cooks more often, who watches TV more, which of the spouses works from home and how are household responsibilities divided? Try to distract yourself from stereotypes and soberly assess the situation. Alexander Krivov, interior designer: - In controversial situations, there is a great temptation to support the spouse whose position is closer to the designer himself. And some designers adhere to the rule: "whoever pays calls the tune." But I believe that it is necessary to look for a compromise that suits everyone. It happens that spouses even begin to actively argue with each other in the presence of the designer. If this happens, I usually apologize and, under the pretext that I need to go out, leave them alone for a while. If after my return the spouses still cannot agree, then it is definitely necessary to move on to an alternative or postpone this difficult issue to another meeting, thereby giving the clients the opportunity to discuss it further.
Give everyone their own corner And yetEach room is intended for both, so controversial moments are inevitable. A crisis may arise in the struggle for leadership, and here a simple trick will come to the rescue. Let each of the spouses try to find a place in the house that will belong only to him/her, and to which the other will not have access. It does not necessarily have to be a separate room - use your imagination! A desk for a man, on which a woman will not touch anything, or a bureau for a woman, the key to which only she will have. Knowing that you have your own corner in the house, you will more easily give in on common issues. Irina Lavrentyeva, interior designer: - I often draw the attention of, for example, the head of the family, that, say, his wife did not interfere at such and such a moment, she gave him full right to make a decision or gave in on something already. Now it is his turn to make concessions. Usually the presence of third parties, that is, designers, helps spouses quickly come to a compromise. So it’s safe to say that a designer also needs to be a good psychologist.
Distribute the functions It also happens that bothspouses want to be equally involved in the design of each room. In this case, there is a solution - divide the entire house into zones based on interests. Let the one who understands technology better take full responsibility for choosing it, and the one who is usually responsible for storage chooses cabinets and shelves. Remember who in your family perceives colors better, and who understands the difference between building materials. Perhaps one of the spouses will soon realize that he or she is even glad not to think about some things that bring joy to the other. The main thing is to discuss everything in advance. Katharina Keil, interior decorator: - I would still recommend that clients do not argue in the presence of a designer, but discuss disagreements at home, choosing a single line that both spouses will adhere to. But if controversial situations occur, I try to understand which of the clients has more weight in making the final decision, and I focus on him or her (as a rule, it is this spouse who signs the contract). But ideally, of course, it would be better to immediately find out from the clients whose vote will be decisive.
Look for the golden mean It would seem that you have everythingWe took it into account, but as soon as it became necessary to choose a color for the walls in the bedroom, problems began. He dreams of a rich blue, she - of a perfect white. So, maybe blue will suit both of you? If a solution has still not been found, try to distract yourself for a minute from the two existing options and imagine a third one in its place - completely different. Not blue, not white, but red. It is not a fact that in the end you will settle on it, but such a technique will help to avoid a “blurred” view and take a more objective look at the situation. Maybe in the end you will make an unexpected decision that everyone will like. Irina Krivtsova, interior designer: - To determine a unified opinion, the spouses need to write down their wishes point by point and compare the results. Choose those positions that are close in spirit or solutions. Based on these decisions, try to determine the minor details of the controversial issue (they may be different for each person) and discuss what little things you can give in to each other and what is a priority for you. This way, you will begin to understand both yourself and your partner better, and you will begin to hear each other.
Call a designer for help. After all, he is not neededonly to follow your instructions and save you from dirty work. In a dispute, the designer will explain why one solution is more suitable for the interior than another - in terms of budget, style and purpose of the room. Or offer his own, or even more than one, until both clients are satisfied. With the help of a professional, all problems related to repairs are solved much faster. And how many nerve cells were saved this way!
Family, repair: what to do in order not to quarrel
